"Ladies and gentlemen... My name is Russell Edington, and I have been a vampire for nearly 3000 years. Now the American Vampire League wishes to perpetrate the notion that we are just like you, and I suppose in a few small ways we are. We"re narcissists. We care only about getting what we want no matter what the cost, just like you...Globalwarming, perpetual war,toxic waste, child labor, torture, genocide... That"s asmall price to pay for your SUVs and your blood diamonds, your designer jeans,your absurd, garish McMansions! Futile symbols of permanence to quell yourquivering, spineless souls. But no. In the end we are nothing like you.We are...immortal. Because we drink the true blood, blood that is living,organic and human. And that is the truth. The AVL wishes to conceal from you because let"s face it, eating people is a tough sell these days. So they put ontheir friendly faces to pass their beloved VRA, but make no mistake, MINE isthe true face of vampires! Why would we seek equal rights?You are not our equals. We will eat you after we eat your children.

Now,time for the weather. Tiffany?"